We are on vacation this week and will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary. I will not be taking my laptop so you will have to go a whole week without hearing about how I feel like I am going to puke.
Happy 4th of July!
Friday, June 29, 2007
Vacation
We are on vacation this week and will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary. I will not be taking my laptop so you will have to go a whole week without hearing about how I feel like I am going to puke.
Happy 4th of July!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Sickness
At 6:30 AM I was eating a granola bar while I was still dripping from the shower. It seems Biscuit decided today would be a great day to introduce me to all day sickness. Well, all day nausea. Sprite is my new best friend and it’s clear that I am going to need to eat every 2 hours or I pay the price. I wonder if I look as green on the outside as I feel on the inside.
The bad part of all this, which I am sure is quite normal, is that I have absolutely no desire to eat. Nothing sounds appetizing at all. Nothing. Not even a big plate of nasty nachos with peppers and salsa, which I LOVE, sounds good. I am trying not to be “that girl” who complains and is whiney but damn, this sucks.
In other news we are leaving for vacation this weekend and I cannot wait. While I am a little (OK, A LOT) bummed that I can’t drink while at the beach, I do need it. It’s been a YEAR since we went on a weeklong vacation and as stressful as our jobs and lives have been we both need to just chill.
We plan on telling Jake we’re pregnant on the drive to Louisville Friday. SP needs to tell Jake’s mom first which I am sure won’t be a great conversation. I am trying to be sensitive to the fact that she can’t have children. Ultimately, what she thinks doesn’t matter, but I don’t want to come across as cruel or insensitive especially after having gone through only a small part of what she has gone through. I doubt she’ll appreciate that and she’ll likely cry when SP tells her, but we tried. Jake, well, he won’t care I am sure of it.
Today I feel: sick, tired and a tad crabby. I am blaming the latter on the lack of sleep due to the broken AC and going to a concert on a school night. There is a glimmer of hope where my sister is concerned so I am focusing all my positive energy her way.
The bad part of all this, which I am sure is quite normal, is that I have absolutely no desire to eat. Nothing sounds appetizing at all. Nothing. Not even a big plate of nasty nachos with peppers and salsa, which I LOVE, sounds good. I am trying not to be “that girl” who complains and is whiney but damn, this sucks.
In other news we are leaving for vacation this weekend and I cannot wait. While I am a little (OK, A LOT) bummed that I can’t drink while at the beach, I do need it. It’s been a YEAR since we went on a weeklong vacation and as stressful as our jobs and lives have been we both need to just chill.
We plan on telling Jake we’re pregnant on the drive to Louisville Friday. SP needs to tell Jake’s mom first which I am sure won’t be a great conversation. I am trying to be sensitive to the fact that she can’t have children. Ultimately, what she thinks doesn’t matter, but I don’t want to come across as cruel or insensitive especially after having gone through only a small part of what she has gone through. I doubt she’ll appreciate that and she’ll likely cry when SP tells her, but we tried. Jake, well, he won’t care I am sure of it.
Today I feel: sick, tired and a tad crabby. I am blaming the latter on the lack of sleep due to the broken AC and going to a concert on a school night. There is a glimmer of hope where my sister is concerned so I am focusing all my positive energy her way.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
A rose by any other name
As the reality of pregnancy sinks in just a bit I am reading more and searching online for all the latest baby items that are sure to make your child the cleanest, brightest, most liked kid on the planet. I am trying not to get too overwhelmed by all the stuff or the looming reality that everything I do now potentially impacts Biscuit.
To keep it real, I find humor in the absurd things that they “sell” to moms-to-be. Like the baby naming consultants I heard about on the radio. Did you know these existed? I didn’t. It seems rather impersonal to have a consultant name your own damn kid. Impersonal, and lazy.
We won’t be using a consultant to name our baby. I think we did a good job coming up with Biscuit. I mean Biscuit Farfsing has a nice fluffy ring to it, right?
Seriously, I guess to some the name defines the person hence all the celebrities who change their name. But that leads me to question if ma and pa baby name consultant user paid big bucks for a name, does that really guarantee them that the name will actually be used? And, does it really guarantee them a child of substance and high moral fiber? Nope. All it really promises is that they will be a) out of money, b) able to tell people they used a consultant to name their kid and c) made fun of by people like me.
Today I feel: concerned for my sister. Hot, hot, hot since our AC went out and it’s 83 degrees in this house. Hungry and tired seem to be the norm now. We are heading out to see John M*yer so hopefully I can still hang.
To keep it real, I find humor in the absurd things that they “sell” to moms-to-be. Like the baby naming consultants I heard about on the radio. Did you know these existed? I didn’t. It seems rather impersonal to have a consultant name your own damn kid. Impersonal, and lazy.
We won’t be using a consultant to name our baby. I think we did a good job coming up with Biscuit. I mean Biscuit Farfsing has a nice fluffy ring to it, right?
Seriously, I guess to some the name defines the person hence all the celebrities who change their name. But that leads me to question if ma and pa baby name consultant user paid big bucks for a name, does that really guarantee them that the name will actually be used? And, does it really guarantee them a child of substance and high moral fiber? Nope. All it really promises is that they will be a) out of money, b) able to tell people they used a consultant to name their kid and c) made fun of by people like me.
Today I feel: concerned for my sister. Hot, hot, hot since our AC went out and it’s 83 degrees in this house. Hungry and tired seem to be the norm now. We are heading out to see John M*yer so hopefully I can still hang.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Sadness
Life ebbs and flows and sometimes waves knock us on our ass while we are reveling in the spectacular beauty of a blazing sun against a bright blue sky. Other times we catch the wave and ride its foamy crest to the shore. And yet other times we are riding the wave or it’s crashing down on us while those around us are experiencing the exact opposite.
My sister finds out she’s pregnant only to feel sadness mixed in with her utter delight when contemplating telling me. I get blood work confirming my pregnancy and my sister ends up at the doctor having an ultrasound due to spotting.
The waves of life aren’t fair. How does one celebrate when someone they care about is experiencing such sadness? Please say a prayer for my sister and Mike and go here for more info.
Today I feel: sad, tired and HUNGRY.
My sister finds out she’s pregnant only to feel sadness mixed in with her utter delight when contemplating telling me. I get blood work confirming my pregnancy and my sister ends up at the doctor having an ultrasound due to spotting.
The waves of life aren’t fair. How does one celebrate when someone they care about is experiencing such sadness? Please say a prayer for my sister and Mike and go here for more info.
Today I feel: sad, tired and HUNGRY.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Dawn
So, I haven't talked to Dawn but per her blog she's spotting again. I'm more focused on that than anything else. Say a little prayer for her, Rooster and Bean.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Jump board
There are many benefits to exercising while pregnant, or so every book I have skimmed thus far says. With that are these rules like keep your heart rate below 140 and don’t go horse back riding or rappelling.
Since I exercised before I have no intention of stopping unless directed so by my doctor. But now, I have all kinds of crazy things to think about that never phased me before. I experienced this earlier this week when I rode my bike for the first time since the news.
To say I was a little paranoid would be an understatement. The battery on my hear rate monitor is dead so I had no clue what my heart rate was and likely went a snails pace compared to what I normally do for fear I would cause some duress to Biscuit (Yes, Biscuit. SP and I used to joke we were going to name our kids biscuit and gravy.). While fretting about my pace I also wondered if I should be wearing my helmet. I typically don’t because there are no cars on the trail. Sure I could still wreck and whack my head on the pavement, but that helmet drives me nuts. Might need to reconsider that, and get the new battery for the monitor.
Today, that panic came during Pil*tes class. Having taught for over four years I know that you can take classes pretty much up to when you give birth with modifications. One modification is not lying flat on your back after your first trimester. I’m not there yet so I have that covered. What I couldn’t remember though was jump board. I thought it was the same as lying flat but I wasn’t 100% sure. So, when I did jump board I did a scaled down version just in case my memory was wrong. Thankfully it wasn’t.
Today I feel: hungry and thirsty.
Since I exercised before I have no intention of stopping unless directed so by my doctor. But now, I have all kinds of crazy things to think about that never phased me before. I experienced this earlier this week when I rode my bike for the first time since the news.
To say I was a little paranoid would be an understatement. The battery on my hear rate monitor is dead so I had no clue what my heart rate was and likely went a snails pace compared to what I normally do for fear I would cause some duress to Biscuit (Yes, Biscuit. SP and I used to joke we were going to name our kids biscuit and gravy.). While fretting about my pace I also wondered if I should be wearing my helmet. I typically don’t because there are no cars on the trail. Sure I could still wreck and whack my head on the pavement, but that helmet drives me nuts. Might need to reconsider that, and get the new battery for the monitor.
Today, that panic came during Pil*tes class. Having taught for over four years I know that you can take classes pretty much up to when you give birth with modifications. One modification is not lying flat on your back after your first trimester. I’m not there yet so I have that covered. What I couldn’t remember though was jump board. I thought it was the same as lying flat but I wasn’t 100% sure. So, when I did jump board I did a scaled down version just in case my memory was wrong. Thankfully it wasn’t.
Today I feel: hungry and thirsty.
Friday, June 22, 2007
There's a baby in there
Progesterone - 22.3
HCG - 2356
Now, I don't really know what these numbers mean other than they confirm what the 4 pregnancy tests said. I AM PREGNANT.
I'm gonna be a mom and SP is going to be dad. Holy hell!
At this point there are a few things we do know and a few we don't. We are both in agreement that we are going to find out the sex of our baby. Some may argue that in doing so we take all the surprise out of it, but let's be honest, when I push a human the size of a bowling ball out of my whoha I am quite confident I am going to be surprised.
We are in agreement that my ta-tas are bigger but my belly really doesn’t look any different.
We are not in agreement about what will happen after the baby is born. I am a firm believer in the value of stay at home moms. SP doesn’t want me to stay home.
To this day I can remember sitting at the kitchen table on Oakwood doing activities with my mom. I don’t think it would mean as much to me if that memory was of some random day care provider. The conflict with the stay at home thing is that I actually have a job I like. This isn’t a new dilemma, women around the world struggle between career and family every day. Now, it’s our obstacle to overcome. One of many things we have to decide and I hope we make the decisions that are best for our baby.
Today I feel: a little pressure in my lower belly. And thirsty, always thirsty.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Today I feel:
- sore throat
- a little tired
- thirsty
- anxiously awaiting the result of the bloodwork I had this morning
- like I still have boulders in my bra
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Morning sickness my ass
While I am embarrassed to admit this, I can make myself car sick driving. Forget about reading, just the speed up and slow down of normal traffic can make me green in the gills.
Motion sickness is not my friend. Cars, planes, boats and probably even trains have been known to result in quick trips to the side of the road or digging through that pocket on the airplane looking for that complimentary barf bag.
Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I secretly hoped that pregnancy would be different, that I would be blessed with a sickness-free pregnancy. That the motion sickness I have known for the majority of my life would disappear, if only for a few months. A girl can dream, right?
Every night this week I have felt a little icky but really, this is my 6th week of pregnancy and I am not even fully convinced I am pregnant so I have been saying the nausea is caused by other things. And I don’t want to be THAT GIRL. You know the whiney one who complains from the very beginning? So, I sucked it up and made a note here but didn’t do much else.
Right now, at this very moment, I may puke on my keyboard. There’s a clenching in my belly and a welling in my throat only associated with a sour and unhappy stomach. I am inhaling watermelon like it’s the nectar of the gods because some book said that will help. My sweet husband asked what he could do for me and in his asking I love him even more.
There’s no hope for this is there? This might be my pregnancy. Evening sickness at week 6. Fabulous.
On a side note - I went to the OBGYN/Acupuncturist today. She isn't my regular OB but I have been going to her for PMS and cycle stuff. She's a cool chick and I left with a script for blood work to confirm there's a baby brewing in this queasy belly.
Today I feel: like I won’t make it through writing this without running out of the room. My ta-tas hurt. Still tired, but I did manage to ride my bike and I got acupuncture for the fatigue.
Motion sickness is not my friend. Cars, planes, boats and probably even trains have been known to result in quick trips to the side of the road or digging through that pocket on the airplane looking for that complimentary barf bag.
Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I secretly hoped that pregnancy would be different, that I would be blessed with a sickness-free pregnancy. That the motion sickness I have known for the majority of my life would disappear, if only for a few months. A girl can dream, right?
Every night this week I have felt a little icky but really, this is my 6th week of pregnancy and I am not even fully convinced I am pregnant so I have been saying the nausea is caused by other things. And I don’t want to be THAT GIRL. You know the whiney one who complains from the very beginning? So, I sucked it up and made a note here but didn’t do much else.
Right now, at this very moment, I may puke on my keyboard. There’s a clenching in my belly and a welling in my throat only associated with a sour and unhappy stomach. I am inhaling watermelon like it’s the nectar of the gods because some book said that will help. My sweet husband asked what he could do for me and in his asking I love him even more.
There’s no hope for this is there? This might be my pregnancy. Evening sickness at week 6. Fabulous.
On a side note - I went to the OBGYN/Acupuncturist today. She isn't my regular OB but I have been going to her for PMS and cycle stuff. She's a cool chick and I left with a script for blood work to confirm there's a baby brewing in this queasy belly.
Today I feel: like I won’t make it through writing this without running out of the room. My ta-tas hurt. Still tired, but I did manage to ride my bike and I got acupuncture for the fatigue.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Week 5
Can't really tell there's a baby in there but I am digging my new shirt. And could I look any shorter?
Just another angle to show nothing.
Can't exclude SP because we need to see if he puts on some sympathy pounds.
Revelations
There was a moment today when I realized that I wasn’t happy like I thought I would be being pregnant. You know that jump up and down screaming like a crazy person happy that you see in movies? That wasn’t me. It wasn’t us.
This has been a long journey for us. In October I would have been off the pill for 3 years. We’ve been dealing with irregular cycles, hormonal ups and downs, a semen analysis, lab work, a crappy provider, temperature taking, acupuncture, etc. for months. The energy I have spent being upset and disappointed could probably power the Eastern half of the US. The energy SP has spent consoling me would power the Western half.
We were trying to get pregnant but weren’t prepared to BE pregnant. We are in shock.
So, I guess it’s not that we aren’t happy, because we are; it’s that we never expected success after the first round of Cl0mid. We had already prepared ourselves to move into round 2. We were caught off guard despite all the work to get here.
Realizing this was a major revelation. It is real. I took 4 freaking pregnancy tests. I have an appointment with a new doctor. We are pregnant and are allowed to celebrate and be happy.
So…WOOHOO! WE’RE PREGNANT.
Today I feel: a little sick to my stomach. Not like throw up sick but like I have a nervous, anxious stomach. But hell, I am nervous and anxious…I am going to be a MOM! In good news, the left nipple has decided to calm down, thankfully, after a month of standing at attention. I can’t tell you how happy I am about this because truthfully, it hurt.
This has been a long journey for us. In October I would have been off the pill for 3 years. We’ve been dealing with irregular cycles, hormonal ups and downs, a semen analysis, lab work, a crappy provider, temperature taking, acupuncture, etc. for months. The energy I have spent being upset and disappointed could probably power the Eastern half of the US. The energy SP has spent consoling me would power the Western half.
We were trying to get pregnant but weren’t prepared to BE pregnant. We are in shock.
So, I guess it’s not that we aren’t happy, because we are; it’s that we never expected success after the first round of Cl0mid. We had already prepared ourselves to move into round 2. We were caught off guard despite all the work to get here.
Realizing this was a major revelation. It is real. I took 4 freaking pregnancy tests. I have an appointment with a new doctor. We are pregnant and are allowed to celebrate and be happy.
So…WOOHOO! WE’RE PREGNANT.
Today I feel: a little sick to my stomach. Not like throw up sick but like I have a nervous, anxious stomach. But hell, I am nervous and anxious…I am going to be a MOM! In good news, the left nipple has decided to calm down, thankfully, after a month of standing at attention. I can’t tell you how happy I am about this because truthfully, it hurt.
Monday, June 18, 2007
You're Fired!
Today I fired my OBGYN. You would have thought from a customer service perspective they would have at least asked why I was switching doctors. But, they didn’t. Since they didn’t care, I didn’t care to tell them.
There isn’t much I can say about that office that is nice. The Dr. seemed knowledgeable enough but I didn’t LOVE her and I really think you need to LOVE your gyno considering how intimate of a relationship you have. And the staff…well, I didn’t even like the staff. They were rude and not helpful and well, RUDE. Who wants to be made to feel like an idiot during a very trying and at times awkward time in their life? Not me.
I have an appointment July 19 with a new OBGYN recommended by a woman I work with who just had her second set of twins. She RAVES about this doctor so I think my chances are good that I won’t have to fire her as well.
Today I feel: bloated and thirsty. I am sleepy again but that’s likely more a result of sleeping on the couch because my husband snores than because I am growing a baby.
There isn’t much I can say about that office that is nice. The Dr. seemed knowledgeable enough but I didn’t LOVE her and I really think you need to LOVE your gyno considering how intimate of a relationship you have. And the staff…well, I didn’t even like the staff. They were rude and not helpful and well, RUDE. Who wants to be made to feel like an idiot during a very trying and at times awkward time in their life? Not me.
I have an appointment July 19 with a new OBGYN recommended by a woman I work with who just had her second set of twins. She RAVES about this doctor so I think my chances are good that I won’t have to fire her as well.
Today I feel: bloated and thirsty. I am sleepy again but that’s likely more a result of sleeping on the couch because my husband snores than because I am growing a baby.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
4 out of 4
It wouldn't be my life if it wasn't without abnormality. Like for example truly believing that I WAS NOT pregnant only to take 4 pregnancy tests and find out that yes, I just might be pregnant. 4 tests. The 4th was a different brand. I guess SP thought Friday night pee was tainted with the rum I had at dinner and when that wore off I'd no longer be pregnant. Fooled him.
Still, I am not sure I am fully convinced I am pregnant. Not sure what it will take but I would prefer it not be a raging fit of vomiting. Since I am firing my OBGYN it may be a bit before the official doctor validation so I guess I am going to have to trust the pee tests.
At this moment I am not sure I am having any "symptoms" that I can attribute entirely to being pregnant because, well, let's be honest they could be the result of any number of things. But, here's what I am feeling at this exact moment: I have a thumping headache. My boobs feel like boulders and I am quite confident the left nipple will be hard forever. I am sleepy. Very sleepy. And I want a beer because my husband is watching a show on a microbrew. Since I am still a tad unsure about the reality of being knocked up, I am feeling apprehensive and anxious. I want to tell people, but also don't want anyone to know.
Still, I am not sure I am fully convinced I am pregnant. Not sure what it will take but I would prefer it not be a raging fit of vomiting. Since I am firing my OBGYN it may be a bit before the official doctor validation so I guess I am going to have to trust the pee tests.
At this moment I am not sure I am having any "symptoms" that I can attribute entirely to being pregnant because, well, let's be honest they could be the result of any number of things. But, here's what I am feeling at this exact moment: I have a thumping headache. My boobs feel like boulders and I am quite confident the left nipple will be hard forever. I am sleepy. Very sleepy. And I want a beer because my husband is watching a show on a microbrew. Since I am still a tad unsure about the reality of being knocked up, I am feeling apprehensive and anxious. I want to tell people, but also don't want anyone to know.
Ummmm...what is this?
Yes, those are 2 pink lines on 2 different tests and I do believe I might be pregnant. Holy shit!
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