All the things she can do

It seems this last month has been one of many new things for Miss C. She rolls over a lot from her tummy to her back and from her back to her side. We've noticed she likes to sleep on her left side and has taken to rolling herself into that position at night.

Her hands and fingers are her new favorite things and they spend a lot of time covered in drool and in her mouth. We think she might be teething because of all the drool.

Everything within reach now ends up in her hands, blankets, bibs, clothes, toys, etc. She's even managed to get ahold of Ms Panda and pull her onto the changing table so we had to move her a little higher.

And talking, wow, she's gonna be a talker. I swear when she was sick this week her cry sounded a lot like a MAWWWMAWWW sound but everyones says I am crazy for thinking that. Anyway, she jibbers and jabbers all the time.

Then there's the laughing. Her high pitched squeals of delight are contagious. The sillier you are the funnier she thinks it is.

Overall it's been a good month for her and I know there's so much more to come.

First illness down

This last week was a rough one. Miss C started to appear to be getting sick on Saturday when we attempted to get her 3 Month pictures and pictures with Mia, Aunt Dawn and Granny. THAT, was an adventure filled with an uphappy and crying baby. I am surprised we got any good pictures at all, but we did.

By Sunday, she was snotty and coughing and running a low temp. The rest of the week involved her not sleeping, crying a lot, having diarrhea, not eating much, etc. I am very blessed to have the family I do, because Nana and Papa came up on Tuesday to stay with her so we didn't have to send her to day care Tuesday or Wednesday. Wednesday night, after much debate and guilt on my part, we decided to listen to the doctor's recommendation and Miss C went to Louisville with Nana and Papa so we could keep her out of day care all week.

Friday night she stayed with Granny, Grampy and Janet and I picked her up today. Finally, she is starting to look and sound like she is feeling better but she still has a cough and is still a little snotty. But, she's on her way to getting better thanks to my family pitching in when I needed them the most.

Sick

Miss C is sick. Nana and Papa came up today to watch her so she didn't have to go to day care. We are taking her to the doctor because she's got a nasty little cough to go along with her runny nose and low grade fever.

You did it!!!

One of the many ridiculous things that people ask you when you have a baby is if the baby is sleeping through the night. In the beginning you want to tell them to go jump off a bridge because NO ONE is sleeping through the night.

Then, you might get lucky and go for a night of a full 5 or more hours, then another, and another until it's been a week, then 2 weeks, then longer. Apart from the minor hiccup this becomes the routine and you get sleep and the baby sleeps and you shock people with this revelation.

For awhile now Miss C has been sleeping in her car seat because, well, she SLEPT and I was afraid she would choke on her spit-up during the night. It worked. She goes to "bed" between 9:30 and 10:30 and sleeps until 5;30, has a bottle and then sleeps again until 7:30 or 8.

But this week, well, this week has been all about doing new things and one of them has been Miss C sleeping like a big girl in her crib without the car seat. We have now made it almost a full week and I am so excited.

Cross your fingers it continues because as Dawn and I have joked, I don't think it's going to be appropriate for a teenager to sleep in a car seat.

Scarey but worth a shot

In a parenting magazine this week they had a little blurb on websites for babysitters. While Amy will be starting in June, I think we need someone we can call on for date night or some other event when we need a sitter. Also, right now, with SP's arm injury, he can't safely do much with Miss C, so I am doing it all and this girl needs a P*lates class or a bike ride.

So, I am trying out one of the services. I have contacted one of the girls (She's 24 but I call everyone girl.) and her references. I'll keep you posted.

Topsy Turvy

It seems Miss C was having a party in her crib last night and decided to invite me. Her invitation came via crying. After I pulled my tired ass out of bed for about the 5th time I found her kicking up a storm and laughing her little head off. The party sure looked fun, but I wasn't in the partying mood.

This week has been rough and it's only Tuesday. Miss C's schedule is all wacky with day care. It seems she sleeps very little there, too much going on for our social butterfly. Yesterday we were not prepared for this or for the fact that she had missed her sleep window and cried from sheer exhaustion.

We worked hard to stick to her schedule with feeding, playing and bathing before bed. As tired as she was, I figured she'd sleep straight through until morning. I HOPED she would, because work is already kicking my butt, but, she woke up every hour on the hour leading up to her "party" thus waking me in the process.

So, I am tired and feel like I am catching a cold which won't do any of us any good. I have been doing this night time thing and early morning feeding thing on my own for over a month. It was ok when I didn't have to work or think during the day and could nap when she napped. But now, my brain needs to function at full speed and it doesn't do that on little sleep. SP and I will work it out, we always do, hopefully before I have a complete meltdown.

It does help though that Miss C is doing well at day care. They love her and her big personality. She's starting doing things in the last two days that she hasn't really done regularly and I wonder if she sees the other babies do them or it's just her developing more. Either way she now pulls her pacifier out of her mouth and passes it to her other hand. She also has found her fingers and sucks to her hearts content on all of them, not just her thumb when she would get lucky and it would end up in her mouth. Everything she can get her hands on gets held and those legs, wow! they only stop when she's asleep.

3 Month Observations of Miss C

Dear Little Bit,

Tomorrow you will be 3 months old and I cannot hold back the tears as I reflect on these last twelve weeks. So much has happened and changed since you were born. Those first couple of weeks are such a blur of you crying, me crying and neither of us sleeping or eating well. That seems so long ago now as you and I both have gotten to know each other and adjusted quite nicely. Now, I want another 12 weeks to just hang out with you and watch you become your own little person.



So much has happened this month that I am not even sure where to begin. But as with last month, your smile continues to melt my heart and makes everything seem just a little easier to handle. I needed that this month, because Baby Girl, it was a hard one on Mom with Dad injuring his shoulder and having surgery. We managed to get through it together and that smile and the way your eyes light up when you see me, well, I needed that.



Here are some highlights of the last month in your life:

• You successfully rolled over 3 times unassisted because you were completely and utterly pissed off that I had you on your belly.


• I think my laughing and cheering you on didn't help.


• We worked on holding the bottle and you shocked both Dad and me when you held it by yourself...once.


• We went rollar blading and I nearly busted my bum trying to skate and push the stroller. You thought that was funny.


• We took you to the bike trail and I road my bike while Dad pushed the stroller.


• You loved the trail with all the trees and animal sounds.


• We also bought a new carrier and I have carried you all over the neighborhood.


• It's leg kicking galore around here whenever you are lying on your back. Your favorite is when I get you ready for your bath and let you just kick away at my belly. I am sure at some point that will hurt.


• You also like kick and swatting at the various toys hanging from your exercise mat.


• When Dad lays on the floor with you and sings you get all excited and those limbs are going a mile a minute complete with sound effects.


• We took you to K*ings Island for the first time with your bro and your cousins. Despite the rain and all the loud rides and kids you did great.


• You spent time with Granny, Aunt Dawn and Nana and Papa.


• I had to clear out some of your newborn clothes because you are growing like a weed.


• We celebrated our first Mother's Day together and I enjoyed every minute of it.


• You went to Day Care for the first time and came back in one piece. You will be happy to know I didn't cry once, but I attribute that to your Dad taking you.


• You slept in your bed and not in your car seat through the majority of the night.


• Speaking of sleeping, we have that 6-8 hour night going great. Keep it up!

You seem to have your Dad's easy going nature because you are just rolling with whatever changes come your way. I hope you keep that as you grow up. This next month should be even more exciting as it warms up and we get to go swimming and do other warm weather things together. I can't wait!

Love,

Mom

Back to work

It was a wise decision to ease (haha) back into work with Miss C in Louisville with Nana and Papa. It allowed me to make that transition without fretting over the day care situation. The good thing is that I was so busy, and will continue to be for some time, that I didn't really have time to think (obsess) about Miss C too much.

Starting tomorrow it's going to be a WHOLE different story. SP and I decided that it will be easier for him to take Miss C to the day care than for me. I would likely not leave her and that's not really productive. He's in no way capable of much more than carrying her car seat and diaper bag into the facility, but that's capable enough.

And, the good news is, she will only be there for a month. We have worked out our nanny situation and she will start on June 23. Woohoo! I just hope that works out.

These are the sounds that babies make

Yesterday I went shopping at the baby superstore. I am trying to find Miss C's formula in bulk and in canisters bigger than 16 oz. This only lasts a little over a week per container and it's VERY expensive. Being a fan of bulk buying, I am on a mission. Thus far, I have been unsuccessful.

While at the store I was checking out videos for babies. I will be the first to admit that Miss C loves the TV. But it could be the weather, baseball or static and the girl would be fascinated. She's a baby and there's all kinds of colors, movement and sound coming from the TV. I would not classify that as letting her watch TV. It's on and she looks at it.

I will also be the first to admit that I am perplexed by the hype that is baby videos. Maybe I just don't get it, but do we really, REALLY need a video to tell Miss C about the seasons? Or, MAYBE we could just take her outside and let her experience it?

I know...I have this wacky notion that we, not some video, should teach her these things. She should be making baby sounds and learning to talk because we make sounds and talk to her. Not because some video is on and she is sitting there staring at it.

I felt guilty not buying any videos. I kept thinking I was in some way depriving her of some level of intelligence that all the other kids would have. But then I thought...SP and are pretty smart people. Not rocket scientists, but I'd like to think we are smarter than the average person...and DVDs weren't even around when we were babies.

So, I think Miss C will survive but EXPERIENCING life, not by watching it on the TV.

Umm...what was I thinking?

In their defense the people at the day care did nothing wrong. They weren't letting the babies run with scissors or play in traffic. They weren't beating them or pressing their hands to hot surfaces. They were fine.

But that's just it...they were FINE. They were fine in a 1 caregiver to 6 kind of way. Which, they are quick to point out is the state mandate.

1 caregiver to 6 from a 1 to 1 ratio.

Doesn't sit right with me.

I know...I KNOW! There are moms all over the place who do this and do it with ease. It's tough. I am not the only mother in the history of motherhood to feel this way. I get that. But this is my baby. MY BABY. And to be quite frank, I don't want her fucking sitting for periods of time with the only interaction she has is hearing other babies crying.

You see, I, like the day care, put Miss C in her swing, crib and bouncy seat. The difference, which I find to be a big one, is that when she is not sleeping I am always interacting with her. ALWAYS. I know you think I am embellishing. But I am not. I talk to her about everything...when I am in the shower, when I am reading a book, when I am making bottles or cleaning up or whatever. We talk and laugh and sing.

I just didn't get the feeling today that when those other 5 kids were being tended to that Miss C would get those things.

Sure they will care for her. I am not doubting that. They will feed her and try to keep her on schedule. They will put her in a safe crib and change her diaper regularly. But I am not sure I am satisfied with just that.

Not now.

Later, I am all for her being in day care/preschool. I think she needs to interact with other kids and know there is value in that. But not now.

So, I cried all the way home. Sobbed.

We have been trying to work out a deal with a nanny...it may happen sooner than expected. Just until we get on at the day care at my work...and until she's a little older.

Boo hoo

I start work on Thursday. Need I say more?

Things every new mom should know...

...and other crap I have learned over the last 3 months.

• How to swaddle a baby.
• The best method for breastfeeding in a very public convention center while surrounded by windows overlooking the street.
• Strategic diaper changing to ensure that you don't get pee all over you or a baby foot in poo.
• How to change a diaper on your lap, on the car seat, or anywhere that does not have a counter or baby changing table.
• The location of at least one decent bathroom with above mentioned changing table (i.e. Ike@ which also offers free diapers).
• Restaurants, stores, etc. that DO NOT have the proper set up for changing or feeding your baby so you can politely choose to no longer frequent them.
• How to make a bottle, hold a baby, tie your shoe and do your taxes all at the same time.
• Or how to maneuver a cumbersome car seat without dropping your newborn while shouldering an overstuffed diaper bag and shoving your stroller into the back of your car.
• The essentials of a diaper bag which interestingly enough includes more than just diapers.
• What outfits can be shit on and tossed in a public place and which ones can't.
• How to burp a baby and catch any spit up before a drop hits your clothes or the ground.
• The best time to sleep, eat, shower, or read a book...which incidentially IS when your baby is sleeping.
• That there IS some truth to the theories in those books about raising a baby...but you can't write a book on a mom's intuition about her own baby. Trust yourself.
• Sometimes you have to relinquish care of your baby to someone other than yourself...for your sanity and for your baby.
• Babies cry...that's what they do. Doesn't make you a bad parent if it happens in the grocery, or the restaurant, or some other very inconvenient time.
• A selfish society and unfortunately maybe even feminism have created a world where people no longer help out pregnant women or new moms. Be prepared to open your own doors, lug your baby around without any offer of assistance, stand holding your baby and the diaper bag and whatever else you have while others sit and watch you. People don't care anymore and they should...so do your part to change that.
• People will talk to you, even if you don't want them to, and will comment on your baby. Get used to it even if you are like me and don't want to talk to the random cashier at the baby superstore...see above about people caring.
• Exercise promotes the release of endorphins...and helps lose baby weight.
• Post partum depression is real...be proactive about it and not embarassed.
• You CANNOT spoil a newborn by holding them. Whoever said you could is ridiculously cruel.
• Having said that, you DO NOT have to hold your baby all the time even though you likely want to.
• Flannel burp cloths or cloth diapers are GREAT for babies that spit up a lot.
• The right diaper bag can change everything.
• Get a baby sling/carrier with the right support so you will wear it with comfort and not a backache.
• Breastfeeding is hard work and valuable, if you can do it. If for some reason you can't, cut yourself some slack.
• Some women have happy labor and delivery stories...it is possible. I did even though I puked and peed on myself during some heavy contractions.
• Rollerblading and pushing a regular stroller is not recommended.
• Your husband or partner is NOT the enemy even if he puts the diaper on sideways and your baby pees all over everything...or worse, poops.
• And last but not least...YOU CAN DO IT!

First Mothers Day

I could not have asked for a better Mothers Day. We actually celebrated on Wednesday before SP's surgery because we were not sure how things would be on the actual day.

My wonderful husband got me a card that made me cry and a C@reBear because that's our nickname for Miss C. These two things were enough, truly they were...then SP said that I needed to "clean out the bear's ears" which totally confused me. When I checked, the bear was wearing a pair of diamond earrings. I was shocked to say the least but happy that he made it so special for me.

It's weird to think I am some little ones mom but as I have said before I cannot imagine my life without her in it. These last couple of months have been challenging but so worth it every time she smiles at me. I wasn't sure what kind of mom I would be especially after having loathed pregnancy with such an unimaginable intensity. But, thus far I think I am far better at the mom thing then I was as the incubator.

This mothers day is difficult because I am excited to be a mom but sad because my parents both lost theirs recently. I know how I felt at the possibility of losing my mom when she fought breast cancer and I am sure it pales in comparison to actually losing ones mom. I feel blessed to have had both of them in my life for so long and know that they both are smiling down on Dawn and I today with our new little girls.

To all the moms out there...HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

Surgery

SP had surgery today on his shoulder and all went well. Thanks to Aunt Dawn for coming to watch Miss C. She loved her one-on-one time with you!

I am tired. Will write more later.

Happy Baby

Miss C is a happy baby and really doesn't hate the little seat as much as her previous picture would lead you to believe. However, these last couple of days the girl has been one fussy butt.

I am not sure if she's doing this so my going back to work will be easier, harder or if it has absolutely nothing to do with my return to work (which I know is the case) at all. She's really congested and I think suffering from some allergies. Dr. says to use saline nose spray but that's not really work. So I keep sucking boogers out of her nose and for the most part she endures this disgusting task without a fight.

Picture pages

Miss C LOVES this little blanket. She pulls the silky side up to her face and would sleep with it over her face if we'd let her.


Miss C HATES this seat at the moment this picture was taken. Other times, she is ok with sitting in it. I think I caught her when she was hungry or tired because that's honestly the only time she cries unless she's in pain like the thing in the eye incident.


Miss C LOVES K*ngs Island. She was perfect all day even when in poured down rain for 1.5 hours. We were there for 9 hours total and the only rides she took part in were via her stroller or the sling. Either way, she was content.

CRAZY

At this exact moment I have one 13 year old boy, one 12 year old boy, two 10 year old girls, a 2 month old baby and a gimp husband at my house. I might possibly be nuts for this undertaking, especially when you take into account that tomorrow we are all going to K*ngs Island. Might as well jump in with both feet, right?

Today while the girls were climbing trees and I had Miss C out on the deck. It was warm out, but a little windy. I went in to get something and SP starting yelling for me from out on the deck. Miss C had something in her eye which looked to be some tree partical that was blowing around. She was freaking out. I had to rush her into the house and promptly flush her eye with water.

Good lord! If I make it through tomorrow it will be a miracle.

Milestones II

Miss C is going to roll over soon I just know it. It's likely not going to be because she reached some major developmental milestone. Instead it will be because she HATES being on her stomach and the sheer degree of that will propel her onto her back.

Right now she gets all wound up and starts kicking her legs with a fury quite amazing in someone so tiny. She gets her left leg going strong and starts rocking as she screams in protest of her prone position. This week she has successfully managed to get her leg propped up and it really is just a matter of time before one of those screams flips her over.

She's also started doing this really cute (and sometimes scarey) thing where she grabs ahold of her blanket, or bib, or whatever she can get her hands on and pulls it up over her face. I like to sleep with my blankets up close to my face and I think this is her variation of that. It sorta freaks me out a bit because she quite literally covers her entire face and I am afraid she will obstruct her breathing. So, when we are not around I don't put anything near her that she could pull up to her face.