First day taking lunch sweetness

As a mom sometimes you have rein yourself in with all the "I think my kids are the best fucking kids on the planet!!!" discussions. Not everyone wants to hear my cute kid stories...shocking. But, they are cute nonetheless and deserve to be told so one day my girls will know just how ridiculously awesome I thought they were should they ever doubt it.

Yesterday was Cara's first full day of kindergarten. She opted to take her lunch in her new lunchbox that her Daddy bought her. We packed: PB&J, cucumbers, blueberries, cheese, applesauce and a goldfish/pretzel mix. She picked out everything and just kept adding and adding.

When she came home I asked her how her lunch was. First comment was that it was too much food and then she proceeded to tell me what she did eat...1/2 PB&J, all the cucumbers except 1, all blueberries, cheese and apples, and a little of the goldfish and pretzels.

As I proceeded to open her lunch box and take out the leftovers and freezer pack, I noticed that her trash was still in the lunch box. She didn't know where to throw her trash away at school so she just brought it all back home. As SP told me this, I turned to look at her sweet innocent face and could tell she thought she did something wrong even though she didn't.

So, we told her what a great job she did and how we could reuse the ziplock baggies after we cleaned them. Great recycling efforts and all that. I then gently encouraged her to ask where the trash was so she could throw her stuff away.

I cannot even begin to describe her super sweet face when we had this conversation. She was on the fence about whether or not what she did was right and it was such an opportunity for us to encourage and support her. Love her.

Kindergarten Day 1

On the day Cara was born I felt this intense rush of emotion the moment I delivered her. It was a feeling like nothing I had ever felt before...love, pride, joy, connectedness and things I can't fully describe and had never felt with anyone before. She was mine and I was hers. That bond was strong.

I doubt sometimes if I am a good Mommy and if we are doing right by her with our parenting. I worry about her...A LOT but try to temper my worry with confidence and praise whenever possible. I want so much for her (her sister too but this is about Cara today) and know there are many things outside of my control...but there are some things that are.

I do my best to prepare them for what is coming, to not spring things on them and to talk about everything. Maybe to a fault. But, on days like today I think my desire to prepare the girls and talk it all out works to my advantage. Cara did AWESOME!

When I work her up she was super excited kicking her arms and legs with a frenzy. Her smile was from ear to ear. Then she wanted to put her uniform on and it was honestly the first time in awhile that getting dressed in the morning was not a super struggle. We ate. We did our hair with new bows that Nana made for her and then we were out the door.

We were the first kindergarteners in her class to arrive. Her teacher, Mrs. King was already there. Cara walked right in and after a little hand holding and me walking around with her, she jumped right in. She interacted with other kids, with out help. She was excited when Mia arrived. She just seemed ready.

As the room started to fill up and more and more kids arrived, she seemed less interested in us and more interested in what was happening in the room. With a little head nod to Paul and a quick hug and kiss we were out the door. She never cried or seemed phased by our leaving. This may change, but today it was great.

I got teary as we walked to the car but not so much out of sadness as pride. She is growing up and I really like the little girl she is growing up to be. I saw confidence and happiness. I saw that we had prepared her as best we could and she was as ready as she was going to be.

When I picked her up at lunch time she wore a big smile on her face. Then she proceeded to detail out for me what was important and not important that she had brought home. They played outside. They ate a snack. They read The Kissing Hand, twice. At first she met no one and then she proceeded to tell me about Rachel, Claire and Mya who she met and that Nicolas sat with Mia. She asked to go back. She loved it.

What a relief.

Where has the time gone?

I am not sure at what point this little baby turned into this beautiful little girl. But here we are.

In a few short days Miss C will start kindergarten. As I watch her, I know she is ready. But getting to that first day will not be without it's challenges.

G, her best friend at school, had his last dayday two whole weeks before school starts. He is spending the week at a camp at his new school and the a week with his grandparents before school starts. Cara is devastated and her behavior has reached maximum levels of crying and acting out. I know she is struggling with this loss as it seems permanent even though we have gone to great lengths with his parents to ensure they still see each other.

The thing about change is that it happens pretty much daily. Some times the change is minor and other times, like now, the change is so great that it impacts everyone in the family. Cara will be in Kindergarten at a new school with new expectations, friends, adventures, etc. Ramsey will be in a new class at the same school, but without her big sister to keep an eye on her (and vice versa). Mommy and Daddy are watching as their oldest child starts to become not so little anymore.

As we approach Day 1 of Kindergarten I recall some of her prior firsts with regards to school. Making the decision to take her out of her first daycare and move to having Miss Amy watch her at home was, at the time, major. The place we thought was ideal for our daughter before she was born proved to not be once we met her.

Then there was the decision to put her in a new facility at my work and no longer have her at home with Miss Amy. Tears were cried. I was a mess. She thrived in that environment.

We've moved schools two other times. Both times there was a period of adjustment for us. A period of crying. A period of freaking out. And then a period of calm and comfort. Everything has a way of working out, even when it seems difficult, sad or even scarey.

Right now we are focused on just getting past the newness and getting into our groove. I know Cara will do great and adjust quickly...her Mom might need a bit more time.