Change

Life with a toddler is full of changes. Changes happen daily. Some are big and some are small. Some pack a whopper of an impact while others just glide by without much notice.

This move to Miss C's new room at the day care is one of those whoppers for me. I know she will be fine. The child has few fears and adapts easily to pretty much anything and anyone. I, on the other hand, have 30+ years of insecurities, fears, anxiety and such that surfaces on days like today.

Today, I took Miss C to her new room for the first time. Her official transition doesn't start until Monday but they recommend the parents go with them to the new room so they see you are comfortable there. I did my best to appear comfortable. I wasn't really. But she was. I guess that is all that matters.

Lovies

We had almost gotten to the point where Miss C was done with the paci. She'd only use it when she slept and then hand it to me when she got up for me to put it away. Then she got round 2 of hand, foot, mouth and wanted it all the time. Now she's reverted a bit to wanting it A LOT.

I've taken to hiding them in drawers so she can't see them because she'll break her neck trying to get to them to pop one in her mouth. At day care she doesn't use one at all so I know it could be the same here. So, I am working on it...one day at a time.

In addition to the paci she has become attached to two specific blankets we have. One she used when she was just a few months old but then her attachment went away. The other was a baby shower gift and is a giraffe blanket. Both have soft silky sides that she loves to rub up against her face. It's interesting to see her identify something that comforts her and then request it or go get it.

On Friday night, we had a pretty rough night. She felt horrible and cried from the moment I picked her up at day care until she went to bed. When we got home she would not let me put her down and when I asked if she wanted to put her PJs on she said yes. Once we got her PJs on she walked over to her crib, stuck her arm between the slats and grabbed her silky pink blanket. She looked like Linus walking around the house dragging her blanket behind her.

To feed or not to feed, that is the question

Yesterday for the first time EVER, Miss C refused to eat her dinner. The turkey and stuffing went untouched in favor of the applesauce. She then proceeded to throw a crying fit because we would not give her the non-dinner foods she pointed at. We tried to hide the turkey in the applesauce but she just pulled the turkey out of her mouth and threw it on the floor.

I even tried this new tactic from a book I am reading by giving her options...which basically was eat your dinner and get vanilla wafers for dessert or don't eat your dinner and get nothing else including vanilla wafers. That didn't work either.

This puts us, as parents, in an awkward position. We are faced with the decision to a) make her something she will eat or b) put her to bed without a decent meal.

There are a few things I am pretty adament about and one of them is I will not get in the habit of making my child a separate meal. No one ever made me a separate meal and believe me there were plenty of times I didn't like what we were having and tried to come up with creative ways to not have to eat it. Still, I learned the lesson through many a painful night of sitting at the dinner table long after everyone else had gotten up, you eat the dinner that was made for you.

This is a lot more difficult to teach when it's your child and you are afraid they will be hungry. Logic tells me that Miss C is well fed and missing this meal did not mean she would starve nor did it mean we were bad parents for sticking to our guns.

The not so logical side tells me I am neglecting my child and depriving her of one of her basic needs and will scar her for like. It says I am a horrible mother and we are horrible parents.

In the end, we did not give her anything else to eat. No separate meal. No vanilla wafers. No nothing. Miss C did not eat her stuffed animals due to hungry. She didn't stay up all night crying because she was starving. No one called the police and reported us for bad parenting.

I hope tonight goes differently because I am quite sure that is not something I want to have to do again any time soon.

Penguins

Hi. It's Miss C's Monja here. Yes, that is right, I am her Monja. Not Mom or Mommy though sometimes Ma. Mostly just Monja. I just roll with it because it's sort cute.

Today I had a moment. You know "moments" right? It's like an out of body experience where you are willing yourself to do one thing but you are gripped with emotion and want to do another? Or maybe it's like an in body experience just someone else is in my body stirring up feelings of loss and sadness and excitement and anxiety. In or out, or a little of both, whatever you want to call it I had it, today, when I went to see Miss C's new toddler room.

In less than a month she will go from being the oldest in her room to being the youngest in the toddler room. She'll have a cot instead of a crib and is currently transitioning to the cot in the infant room. There will also be a cubby with her name and all of her stuff instead of a bin under her crib. Instead of a daily sheet that lists out her activities for the day she will have her own notebook where the teachers will write all about her day. Things are also more structured in the toddler room and everyone is on the same schedule for naps, playtime, music time, lunch time, etc.

Age range in the toddler room is 18 months to 3 years and I know that she will transition pretty easily with only a few bumps in the road. She's a pretty easy going child and loves meeting new people and doing new things. I, on the other hand, will likely require a pretty detailed transition plan and some cookies and hugs. Lots of cookies and hugs.

Busy Weekend - Zoo

The final activity in our very busy weekend that include the concert series, swim lessons and staining the deck (all SP) was a trip to the zoo. We decided to get a membership so we can go more often.

Miss C loved the goats and called all of them "Cocker" which is what she calls most animals. Makes sense to her I guess because our dog is Copper and that is what she calls her.

No she is not milking the goat but it sure looks like it.

She liked the parrot until it nipped her finger looking for food.

The were pretty aggressive birds. This one was fascinated with my bracelet and kept trying to eat it.

Busy Weekend - Aqua Babies

Busy Weekend - Blue Ash Concert

This weekend was jam packed with activities and it all started on Friday after work. We took Miss C to the Blue Ash C*ncert Series in...Blue Ash. We had never been to this concert series before. Turns out they do it every Friday during the Summer and it's pretty family friendly event. People pack their lawn chairs and coolers and just sit outside listening to the band play.

We typically stick to a tight schedule around here because it makes Miss C happier and her parents happier too. It works for us most of the time and she is seldom up past 7:30. But it was the weekend and well, sometimes we have to do semi-grown up things. I think the key is to not make staying up past her typical bedtime the norm, to know when it's time to leave and to know that the next day there will be some adjustments that have to be made.

All worth it. She had a ball and we did too. Next time we'll pack a cooler and prepare a little better. Here are some pictures of the evening. Miss C even had a wardrobe change.

Thanks Mom and Bruce - Love you

Grown Up

One of the things I have noticed about being a new mom, and I may have mentioned it here before, is the fact that I have to be a grown up. I am the one responsible for a little person and find that at times to be quite overwhelming if I think about it too much.

If I think about it just enough, I realize it's a beautiful thing to be her anything and everything. That won't always be the case and I am sure one day I will long for those moments when I get to make the decisions for her rather than having her make the decisions herself.

I think that's why moms sometimes have a hard time letting go of their children. We are so intertwined and our being is connected to their being for so long that when they are ready to move on, we are not. So, I am going to enjoy my connectedness even when I find the responsibility to be scarey and the thought of screwing her up earth shattering because I know my little independent girl will one day not need her mom in the same way.

Update

This past weekend we went to Louisville to get our Father's Day pictures taken. We were originally supposed to get them done Father's Day weekend but since Miss C had hand, foot, mouth we had to reschedule. This time the AC was out at the studio so it was less than perfect but we achieved what we wanted to which was to get good pictures of Dad with Miss C and Mia. Currently you'll need to go here to see the pictures because I am waiting on the CD from my sis.

In addition to the pictures we spent a wonderful afternoon and evening at my Dad's just hanging out, drinking and laughing. It was a really great time and I think the timing could not have been better. I think we all needed to be together with my Dad's biopsy looming. The biopsy was today and I am waiting to hear the results. I'll keep you posted.

Me

Last night I said to Miss C, who's Miss C? and she pointed to herself.

My child may not speak every word in the dictionary but she knows who she is. Ha!

Today

Today your pictures caught my eye as I sat at my desk.

At 2 months with your cubby cheeks, contagious smile, bright blue eyes and Reds outfit. You couldn't even sit up on your own and your little legs were kicking in the picture.
At 3 months with deep creases in your little arms, a few sprouts of dark hair and still that smile. Still can't sit up and your tiny fingers are still curled up like they should be wrapped around my finger.
At 6 months with your Dad in Bengals attire, still smiling, still cubby, still without bangs but a little bit more hair. You love your Daddy and it shows in this picture.
At 9 months with your festive holiday bow in hair that now covers your forehead, starting to look less like a baby with cheeks and arms not so chubby, still smiling. I cannot believe how much you have changed. Your are sitting on your own and crawling around.
At 12 months with your hot pink and zebra print, standing, smiling, holding your head up. Your face is still pretty full but not like it was when you were a baby.
Now with your full head of hair in pigtails with thinning cheeks and bright eyes. Clapping your hands to some unknown song. Still smiling, now with quite a few teeth showing.

Time flies Baby Girl. Time flies...

List, List, List

Just a little update on what Miss C has been up to...

• First, I read this article and feel much better about Miss C and her communication.
• Right now a lot of her time is spent mimicing what we (and the animals) do. If we put our hands on our head, so does she. If one of the cats meows, so does she.
• She sleeps from 7:30 PM (we moved her bedtime back by 30 minutes) to 7 AM or later. We get up at 6:45 or 7 during the week but most of the time she'll sleep later if we let her.
• Bed time involves a bath (every other day unless there is some hard core playing or food in the hair or something else that warrants it), a book, brushing teeth (if we remember) and then bed. I typically put her to bed. We hug and kiss and then I put her in bed.
• Once in bed, Miss C is surrounded by all her pals...Elmo, Wally (from B*ston Red Sox), Gapper (from Cincinnati R*ds), Fetch (a puppy) and Monkey. Most nights she sleeps with her arms around Elmo. Other nights she'll throw them all out of the crib or she'll line them up and talk to them. It's hilarious.
• She also rubs things between her fingers to help her sleep...the tags on her animals, a crease in her sheets, this giraffe blanket that is silk on one side, anything.
• Mornings are Daddy time. SP gets her up and dressed. Then they sit on the sofa together and eat Cheerios and drink milk while watching Blues Clues. This is a special time for her and she knows the routine and will walk to the sofa even when SP doesn't get her up.
• During the day she only takes one nap. It is usually an hour to an hour and a half.
• At the day care she is the oldest in her room and one of 3 girls. She'll move to her new room when she's 18 months.
• There isn't anything that I can think of off the top of my head that she won't eat. If we eat it, she'll eat it.
• We think she is going through a growth spurt right now because she is eating A LOT.
• Her latest thing is sheer excitement when she sees something either a) she hasn't seen before or b) has and loves it. The excitement comes in the form of her making her mouth look like she is making an "O" and she'll go "oh! oh!" and stomp her feet over and over.
• She also dances ALL THE TIME. Hips go back and forth. Arms swing. Head bops. She LOVES music. Loves it.
• In two weeks she'll start her aqua babies swim class at the Y. I think she will enjoy it because she loves the water so much.
• Today we bought a new jogger stroller and while I don't jog, SP does and we walk almost every night. The other stroller that was part of her infant car seat package really isn't the best for lots of walking and well, it's cumbersome and heavy.
• We also FINALLY got the kick stand on my bike so I can take Miss C on the bike trail. It was difficult to put the bike trailer on a bike with no stand to hold it up.
• For the most part her disposition has not changed. She fusses if she is tired or overstimulated or hungry or sick. Period. This isn't often and it's usually pretty easy for us to determine what has her worked up. God love The B@by Whisperer.
• Of course, there are those moments when she gets frustrated and will show some sass...she is our child afterall, but that tends to come and go pretty quickly.

People keep asking me when we are having more children and I can honestly say not any time soon. I really enjoy Miss C and every ounce of her and her little (BIG) personality. I want to continue to enjoy her. Oh, and that vomiting I did while pregnant...to fresh in my mind. TOO FRESH.

Granny and Grampy

Granny and Grampy came to visit this weekend so SP and I could go out for our anniversary. We wanted to stay close to home after a very tiring week. The disruption to Miss C's schedule did have an impact so we wanted to try to get her back on track and ready for the week. She really enjoyed hanging out with Granny and Grampy and showing them all her tricks.

3 Years

Three years ago yesterday SP and I got married in Vegas. It was a day I will never forget for many reasons. Of course there was our super fast ceremony that was exactly what we wanted...no frills, no massive audience (only Dawn and Mike) and no pressure. It was perfect, except for the fact that we both had strep throat. We did manage to pull ourselves out of bed and get to the chapel to get married. I even survived the horrible cab ride that almost made me vomit. Of course this is one of maybe 3 pictures taken of our ceremony because the battery on my camera died. Quite memorable indeed.


This year I wish my batteries had gone dead. (Just kidding.) As you can see my beloved is showing me all kinds of love in this photo. The honeymoon is over, but the love and fun is still there. If one of us doesn't have our tongue out in at least one photo, it really isn't us.

Last night we went to dinner at Jeff Ruby's Waterfront. I had the most amazingly delicious filet covered in gorgonzola butter. Yum. Yum. While the weather was crappy, we did have a nice table that looked out on the river and into Cincinnati. It was nice just to have an uninterrupted dinner where we weren't in a rush to get back (Granny and Grampy were watching Miss C.) and no one was rushing us to eat and get out.

After dinner we did something we never get to do...went to a movie. We tried to remember the last time we had been to a movie and we couldn't remember. That tells you how long ago it was. The evening was perfect. It was exactly what I wanted...to spend some good quality time with my hubby.

Happy anniversary babe! Love you.

Words, words, words

I don't really compare Miss C to other kids. I learned that early on. It would make me crazy if I sat around and thought about why she isn't doing what so and so is doing or why she is doing something so and so isn't. I could easily do that with so many of my friends having little ones her age or close to it. But I enjoy my sanity.

Of course, it doesn't help if SP mentions something because then I start to worry. He did that recently with her speaking. I had never questioned her communication. I think she communicates well, though often not verbally. She "speaks" but it's often not anything we can understand...it's her own baby gibberish that I am sure means something very important to her.

That's not to say that she doesn't say things we understand, because she does. More, Cocker (for Copper), nose, eye, yes, no, shoe, mine, nana (for banana), muk (for milk) are very distinct words she uses. And there are words I have mentioned that we know what they mean but aren't real words, like "num-i-na" which is food. I see her trying to form the words like thank you which comes out tha and I watch her roll her tongue to try and say please.

The words are there and she understands pretty much everything we say to her. She just isn't reciting poetry or speaking hundreds of words. And most days I am ok with that. I am ok with the fact that when I say, come here and let's take your jacket off she walks over to me and tries to unzip her jacket. I am ok with the fact that if I say, have you pooped she will nod her head and say yeah. I am ok with the fact that if I say let's go to your room and get a book, she does. Or if I ask for a hug and kiss I get one.

I am ok with all of it, until my husband starts worrying me and I start fretting. I know he means well, but my brain starts going and I start looking shit up on the Internet and thinking I am not reading to her enough and am somehow screwing her up. Stupid Internet.

The reality is, she is perfectly wonderful in every way. She is amazingly bright and right on track. I would not want her any other way or to be like any other child. I am happy for those whose 16 month old can recite the Declaration of Independence and who are reading the New York Times, really, I am. But I'll take my girl and her num-i-na any day of the week.

Fun with the Kids - W@ke Nation

Today while Emie was writing we took Sam to W@ke Nation. It's a new wake boarding place near here. He loved it. Miss C loved the ice cream as you can tell.

Oh, and Happy Birthday Mitzi!

Fun with the kids - Reds Game with Sam

Sam doesn't like to get his picture taken so if I manage to get a shot of his face it is a miracle.

Fun with the kids - Hanging at the house