Things every new mom should know...

...and other crap I have learned over the last 3 months.

• How to swaddle a baby.
• The best method for breastfeeding in a very public convention center while surrounded by windows overlooking the street.
• Strategic diaper changing to ensure that you don't get pee all over you or a baby foot in poo.
• How to change a diaper on your lap, on the car seat, or anywhere that does not have a counter or baby changing table.
• The location of at least one decent bathroom with above mentioned changing table (i.e. Ike@ which also offers free diapers).
• Restaurants, stores, etc. that DO NOT have the proper set up for changing or feeding your baby so you can politely choose to no longer frequent them.
• How to make a bottle, hold a baby, tie your shoe and do your taxes all at the same time.
• Or how to maneuver a cumbersome car seat without dropping your newborn while shouldering an overstuffed diaper bag and shoving your stroller into the back of your car.
• The essentials of a diaper bag which interestingly enough includes more than just diapers.
• What outfits can be shit on and tossed in a public place and which ones can't.
• How to burp a baby and catch any spit up before a drop hits your clothes or the ground.
• The best time to sleep, eat, shower, or read a book...which incidentially IS when your baby is sleeping.
• That there IS some truth to the theories in those books about raising a baby...but you can't write a book on a mom's intuition about her own baby. Trust yourself.
• Sometimes you have to relinquish care of your baby to someone other than yourself...for your sanity and for your baby.
• Babies cry...that's what they do. Doesn't make you a bad parent if it happens in the grocery, or the restaurant, or some other very inconvenient time.
• A selfish society and unfortunately maybe even feminism have created a world where people no longer help out pregnant women or new moms. Be prepared to open your own doors, lug your baby around without any offer of assistance, stand holding your baby and the diaper bag and whatever else you have while others sit and watch you. People don't care anymore and they should...so do your part to change that.
• People will talk to you, even if you don't want them to, and will comment on your baby. Get used to it even if you are like me and don't want to talk to the random cashier at the baby superstore...see above about people caring.
• Exercise promotes the release of endorphins...and helps lose baby weight.
• Post partum depression is real...be proactive about it and not embarassed.
• You CANNOT spoil a newborn by holding them. Whoever said you could is ridiculously cruel.
• Having said that, you DO NOT have to hold your baby all the time even though you likely want to.
• Flannel burp cloths or cloth diapers are GREAT for babies that spit up a lot.
• The right diaper bag can change everything.
• Get a baby sling/carrier with the right support so you will wear it with comfort and not a backache.
• Breastfeeding is hard work and valuable, if you can do it. If for some reason you can't, cut yourself some slack.
• Some women have happy labor and delivery stories...it is possible. I did even though I puked and peed on myself during some heavy contractions.
• Rollerblading and pushing a regular stroller is not recommended.
• Your husband or partner is NOT the enemy even if he puts the diaper on sideways and your baby pees all over everything...or worse, poops.
• And last but not least...YOU CAN DO IT!