Where's Ramsey?

Sometimes I go up to Ramsey's room after she's been asleep for awhile and I find stuff like this. I can't make this up. 

Girls Night

For over 10 years now I have gotten together almost monthly with a group of amazing women I am honored to call my friends. When we all manage to show up there's nine very different, but tightly intertwined, personalities in the room. 

I used to shy away from friendships with women and surrounded myself with male friends. Guys were easier. They were not catty or competitive and did not over analyze every word, look or thought i had. For a time those friendships were what I needed and I am thankful for them. 

But now, as I approach 40, am a mom, a wife, a career woman, a jumbled mess of confusion and determination, I realize the value of great female friends. We do what I don't think woman do enough of. We are real. We are honest. We don't judge. We don't always agree. We sometimes get on each other's nerves. But we are supportive and there for each other no matter what. Good and bad. 

Tonight girls night was not the norm. All of us had at least one, if not all, of our kids with us. We did not get to connect like we typically do, but our kids did. My girls got to see me with a group of wonderful woman who are role models. They got to see what female friendships can be like, and should be like. 

I really felt blessed as I watched my girls playing with my friends kids. I felt blessed to have those women looking out for and loving my girls like their own kids. 

I hope one day R and C have as great a group of girls as I do to call friends. I hope they are that lucky. 

Facebook flashback

Sometimes it's just easier to flip a quick status update on Facebook than it is to site down and write a post about what's going on with the girls. Going to try and capture so of that history here.

9-24-13
Ramsey keeps calling Jesus Gorgeous. As in, "Gorgeous loves me."

9-15-13
In case you were wondering hot pink lipstick does not easily wash out of white blonde eyebrows.

9-8-13
Cara just told me her and Ramsey were rumbling. What are they some greasers from The Outsiders?

8-15-13
Ramsey found a maker last night and proceeded to color her hands and legs. She then slept with her face on her colored hand. We could not get the marker off this morning. Where in the hell were her parents?

8-6-13
R: Our new dog is a boy. He has a wenis.

7-26-13
C asked me if Cheetos were made from cheetahs.

5-21-13
Today Miss C graduates from Pre-K and we begin our journey to Kindergarten. I am both sad that my baby girl is growing up and also excited to see the person she is becoming as she grows. Love you Cara Beara.

Rubber baby buggy bumpers

Now that Cara is going to a different school, morning and afternoon drives are time just for me and Ramsey. This really is the first time since she's been born that she got some one-on-one time alone consistently with me. I love it and I think she does too.

These car rides, though only about 20 minutes or less, give us time to chat and connect. I get to just focus in on my silly little girl who is quickly becoming not so little.

Some days are filled with laughter and song like the day we listened to Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers and could not stop laughing every time we sang it. Or those days when I jokingly say, "don't dance in my car" at her request and then she proceeds to wiggle her little head off.

Some days she is a chatterbox and tells me about her day with such clarity and sense of storytelling. Other days she asks questions about trains, streetlights, other cars, geese or anything else that tickles her fancy.

Some days are filled with tears and crying and shoe throwing. Those days are the hardest because most of the time I have no clue what prompted the outburst or how to resolve it.

But, all in all, those days, each and every one of them, are special to me because it's just us. I find Ramsey to be a wickedly intelligent little girl who is silly and loving and mischevious. I like getting to know her during this time...all of her. She may not remember this time when she is older, but I will.

Daisy Scouts and other Kindergarten stuff

Cara's kindergarten year is fully underway. We have successfully passed the first conferences with a pretty stellar report. She's on track for almost everything or working at her age level which makes us super happy. Her handwriting is "beautiful" and she is very well behaved. What more could a parent ask for? She seems happy and to be thriving in this new environment.

The only "negative" has been about her social interaction with kids on the playground. Her teacher has expressed concerns, and even sadness, as Cara tends to hang back and not fully engage with the other kids during recess. I am not sure how concerned we should be about this and currently am trying not to blow it clear out of proportion.

Cara is a lot like me in new situations. She hangs back, checks things out and figures out where she wants to be and who she wants to be around. Then, when she is comfortable there is no stopping her. I don't think there's anything wrong with holding back a bit and being a little introverted. Probably because that's how I am. :) But I want to try and just let her be.

She is a sweet, kind, loving and generous little girl. I find her to be thoughtful and caring and smart. There's nothing she tells me to indicate she is not happy or being mistreated or even is socially awkward. She is just slower to warm up. I think that's ok.

Still, knowing my own apprehension in new situations and wanting to help build her confidence we are doing things to get her involved and interacting with her peers at school. We signed her up for Daisy Scouts which is the kindergarten version of Girl Scouts. I think she will love it. Last night was our first meeting and I look forward to watching her grow in this experience. We have her vest and some new badges and a book all about Scouting. Here's to our new adventure!

We're also keeping her in soccer and tumbling for now. Both seem to be good for her in different ways. I love watching her do both when she focuses and concentrates for balance on the beam or gets silly and confidence running on the soccer field.

Love my girl.

First day taking lunch sweetness

As a mom sometimes you have rein yourself in with all the "I think my kids are the best fucking kids on the planet!!!" discussions. Not everyone wants to hear my cute kid stories...shocking. But, they are cute nonetheless and deserve to be told so one day my girls will know just how ridiculously awesome I thought they were should they ever doubt it.

Yesterday was Cara's first full day of kindergarten. She opted to take her lunch in her new lunchbox that her Daddy bought her. We packed: PB&J, cucumbers, blueberries, cheese, applesauce and a goldfish/pretzel mix. She picked out everything and just kept adding and adding.

When she came home I asked her how her lunch was. First comment was that it was too much food and then she proceeded to tell me what she did eat...1/2 PB&J, all the cucumbers except 1, all blueberries, cheese and apples, and a little of the goldfish and pretzels.

As I proceeded to open her lunch box and take out the leftovers and freezer pack, I noticed that her trash was still in the lunch box. She didn't know where to throw her trash away at school so she just brought it all back home. As SP told me this, I turned to look at her sweet innocent face and could tell she thought she did something wrong even though she didn't.

So, we told her what a great job she did and how we could reuse the ziplock baggies after we cleaned them. Great recycling efforts and all that. I then gently encouraged her to ask where the trash was so she could throw her stuff away.

I cannot even begin to describe her super sweet face when we had this conversation. She was on the fence about whether or not what she did was right and it was such an opportunity for us to encourage and support her. Love her.

Kindergarten Day 1

On the day Cara was born I felt this intense rush of emotion the moment I delivered her. It was a feeling like nothing I had ever felt before...love, pride, joy, connectedness and things I can't fully describe and had never felt with anyone before. She was mine and I was hers. That bond was strong.

I doubt sometimes if I am a good Mommy and if we are doing right by her with our parenting. I worry about her...A LOT but try to temper my worry with confidence and praise whenever possible. I want so much for her (her sister too but this is about Cara today) and know there are many things outside of my control...but there are some things that are.

I do my best to prepare them for what is coming, to not spring things on them and to talk about everything. Maybe to a fault. But, on days like today I think my desire to prepare the girls and talk it all out works to my advantage. Cara did AWESOME!

When I work her up she was super excited kicking her arms and legs with a frenzy. Her smile was from ear to ear. Then she wanted to put her uniform on and it was honestly the first time in awhile that getting dressed in the morning was not a super struggle. We ate. We did our hair with new bows that Nana made for her and then we were out the door.

We were the first kindergarteners in her class to arrive. Her teacher, Mrs. King was already there. Cara walked right in and after a little hand holding and me walking around with her, she jumped right in. She interacted with other kids, with out help. She was excited when Mia arrived. She just seemed ready.

As the room started to fill up and more and more kids arrived, she seemed less interested in us and more interested in what was happening in the room. With a little head nod to Paul and a quick hug and kiss we were out the door. She never cried or seemed phased by our leaving. This may change, but today it was great.

I got teary as we walked to the car but not so much out of sadness as pride. She is growing up and I really like the little girl she is growing up to be. I saw confidence and happiness. I saw that we had prepared her as best we could and she was as ready as she was going to be.

When I picked her up at lunch time she wore a big smile on her face. Then she proceeded to detail out for me what was important and not important that she had brought home. They played outside. They ate a snack. They read The Kissing Hand, twice. At first she met no one and then she proceeded to tell me about Rachel, Claire and Mya who she met and that Nicolas sat with Mia. She asked to go back. She loved it.

What a relief.