Changes

I don't do well with change. It's difficult for me to adjust to new situations, new people, new anything. I am slow to warm up. Slow to adjust. Even when I know that the change is a good thing. I still need my moment to freak out before I embrace it.

Next month we are moving back to Louisville. We have lived in Cincinnati for 6 years and it's time to go home.

This is a HUGE change that I know, in the most logical parts of my brain and the largest parts of my heart, is the right move for me and my family. Still, I am scared shitless. I am starting to freak out about the change.

I am afraid my expectations will be too high for what our life will be like there. I am not naive enough to think it will be a perfect life but I do think (and hope) it will be close.

The house we are buying is in a great neighborhood. The girls will have a wonderful fenced yard to play in and I won't constantly be worried they will run into the street and get hit by a car speeding around the corner. It's a cul de sac so I am looking forward to them riding their bikes in the street without fear of those same cars hitting them.

We'll live .7 miles from my sister and while I don't expect to spend every waking moment with her and her family, I do expect to spend more time with them. More unplanned, spur of the moment, it's Friday night let's cook out and have the kids play, moments. I look forward to being able to say, let's go for a walk or having her house to go to when I just need to get out and have someone to talk to.

Dawn makes me laugh like nobody else and that laughter soothes my soul. I often find myself thinking that she must have been towards me like C is toward R. Such a bright light and a constant source of smiles and love. When you don't know your life any other way, you do feel an emptiness when that person is not around.

We will be 20 or so minutes from my parents. When C say she wants to see them, I won't have to coordinate a visit weeks in advance with planned pick up and drop off and all scheduled around who is eating when. My children will know their grandparents even more and I know for a fact that those memories last forever because I still have memories of spending time with mine.

The girls will go to daycare right near where we'll live and C will be in class with Mia. This, above all else, makes me panic the most. I know there will be some adjustment...that is normal. I also know the adjustment will partly be mine but knowing this still doesn't lessen how I feel or how much I worry.

This move, ultimately, is for my girls. I hope it strengthens my marriage and my family to be closer to people who can help us when we need it. People who want to spend time with us and who care about us and our kids.

Wish us luck!

All the things she can do - C

It seems Miss C is growing up to be quite the spectacular little girl. And funny...she is so freaking funny.

• Most nights before be we do dance time where we turn on music and dance around the living room. SP and I used to initiate this but now she'll look at us and say, "I wanna dance." What follows is the most beautiful display of uninhibited dancing you can imagine.
• C loves her sister. We are thankful for this but also have to remind her that R is still a baby and is not ready for some of the more "big girl" activities like C is.
• We are pretty much potty trained with the exception of naps and overnight. There are a few accidents here or there but for the most part we have been successful. We aren't doing any rewards for her going, but rather setting the timer and working with her both at home and school to make it happen.
• One of C's most favorite things to say is "What you talking about Willis?" She knows it makes us laugh so she says it all the time.
• She plays a lot with her kids laptop she got for Christmas. It's funny to see her sit and type on it like we do.
• One of my most favorite things to do is sing with C in the car to and from daycare. We'll either dance to Lady Gaga or we'll sing and dance to Sugarland. Our favorite song to sing together is "Stuck Like Glue" and she knows most of the words.
• C writes a lot. She'll write notes and lists which really are just papers of scribble but to her they have very specific meaning. Today she wrote our grocery list which included batteries (because we need new ones for her toy), blueberries, bananas and grapes.
• When she talks she's often very matter of fact and serious about what she says.
• She's awesome in her tumbling class and has definitely got her Daddy's athletic ability. She just seems naturally inclined towards things that require balance and coordination.
• Every night when I put her to bed we read a book, talk about her day and then I give her hugs and kisses followed by a good tickle session. Often she'll pretend to wipe my kisses off so I have to cover her with more. I love it.

All the things that she can do - R

Miss R is going non-stop and I thought I'd try to catch a second to write down all that she's been doing. It's not as easy to get down time with two kiddos around but I wanted to make sure I didn't forget these moments.

• Now that she can crawl, there is no stopping her. She doesn't want to be contained in anyway. She'd rather be moving and exploring rather than sitting still.
• We are working on using a sippy cup and she very clearly likes the hard topped cups versus the soft tip cup. She'll use the one and not the other.
• She goes crazy for her formula. When she sees her bottle or cup she bounces up and down and flaps her arms while making grunting sounds.
• She hasn't embraced eating solids with as much enthusiasm. There has yet to be one fruit or veggie that she loves and gobbles up. Often our attempts and getting her to eat a solid are met with a tight lipped headshake. We'll keep trying.
• We are working on self feeding and have started giving her things like Mum Mums, Cheerios and other little finger foods.
• It's become very clear that she is a Momma's girl. I am who she wants, who she comes to, who she searches out regardless of who is around.
• Her sister makes her laugh uncontrollably.
• When crawling she does this crazy one leg straight thing like she is trying to monkey walk or something.
• She pulls up on everything. We've had to lower her bed because she's already standing up in there.
• Every time I put her into the car seat she cries. Every. Single. Time.
• She loves hair. Her eyes light up and focus in on someones hair. Then her hands go out reaching for it.
• She's ticklish on the center of her stomach and under her arms.
• Her toes and socks are still two of the most fascinating things to her and usually she pulls her socks off.
• She's a much more sensitive sleeper than C was. I try to trim her nails at night or put clothes away in her room and she always reacts in some way. Typically she doesn't fully wake up but she stirs enough to make me think she is going to.
• We are still blessed to have her sleeping through the night, unless she is sick. That is a huge blessing.
• Overall she is a very easy going baby, unless she is tired or hungry...then she lets us know it.

8 months of love

Dear Ram,
My sweet, funny girl. You are now 8 months old. It seems like I say this every month, but I cannot believe you are growing up so quickly. Time is flying back and I barely have time to capture in writing all the moments we have together.

Each and every second with you is a precious joy. Your laugh and smile are contagious and I love to watch you get excited as you recognize people you love like me, your Daddy and your big sister. You bounce, literally bounce, with excitement with your arms and legs going when you see us. And that toothy grin...beautiful.

You are quite active now and I think you are just bound and determined it go and do whatever it is you want to do. You first scooted along on your bottom while sitting to get where you wanted or would reach and grunt and wiggle around to get a toy or something else you wanted. Then very quickly you mastered crawling this month and now, you are trying to monkey walk and pull yourself up. It's only a matter of time before you are running after your sister.

You completely enjoyed your first Christmas and were most interested in the wrapping paper. We did a lot of Christmas activities like going to see Christmas lights but you pretty much slept the entire thing. I am sure next year you will be much more excited and interested in the lights, presents and activities.

We are working on introducing more solids and you are not super thrilled with much of anything we give you with the exception of your bottle. You laugh with glee when you see the bottle. Often you'll refuse to open your mouth for solids but will open wide for your bottle. We keep trying and I know we'll find something that you love. We are also working on drinking with a cup and doing some self feeding. The cup you liked because, well, it had formula in it. But the self feeding of little puffs is not your favorite yet.

You are starting to try and wave a little bit and I love to see your little hand trying to do it.

Honestly, there really isn't much you do that I don't love. I love your smile and laugh. I love the way you interact with your sister and laugh deeply when she entertains you. And she loves to do that...to be involved with you and around you. The beautiful part is you do to.

I love every single inch of you Miss R and I hope you have enjoyed these last 8 months as much as I have.

Love,
Mommy

Christmas 2010

Get a move on

It's official! Miss R is now crawling. Get out of her way because she was determined to crawl and now she is. There's no stopping her now. It is hilarious to see her moving around. Such determination.

Please let this work

For about a month now Miss R has been waking up during the night. Every night. Multiple times a night. This has been quite difficult for us because she's been a through the night sleeper since she was about 3 months old.

We've tried everything. And I mean everything in our bag of tricks. Bottom patting. Teething drops. Gas drops. Motrin. Tylenol. Stopped all solids and started over. Switched cereals. Bought nighttime diapers. Layered her up with a onesie, pjs and sleep sack so she'd be warm. Held her. Rocked her. Shushed her. Put her in hear car seat. Put her in her bouncy. Played music. Played her ocean thingy. Played the mobile. You name it, we tried it.

It was to the point where she was so tired that nothing would calm her down and she'd just cry and cry. Then she'd cry to the point where she'd wake Miss C and we'd have two crying kids on our hands.

We are tired. Tired. Running on fumes. Our "nights off" aren't really nights off because we are trying to help each other.

The logical mind tells me it's possible we have the fallout of the "perfect storm" of recent illnesses...RSV, stomach virus, ear infection. That she isn't sleeping because she's gotten used to being up from all those illnesses. The tired mind thinks all kinds of crazy things and really just wants her to sleep so we can sleep.

Yesterday I took her to the doctor for a follow up from her recent ear infection. Thankfully she doesn't have an ear infection. AND the doctor told us to do the following...

- Introduce new white noise, like the radio.
- Go in one hour after she's fallen asleep and nudge her to "reset her sleep cycle".
- First night, if she wakes up wait 15 minutes, then go in and pat her bottom for 5 seconds and leave. Wait 30 minutes, repeat. Wait 60 minutes repeat. Wait 90 minutes and repeat.
- Second night, wait 30 minutes, then 60, then 90.
- Third night, wait 60, then 90.
- Fourth night, wait 90.
- The goal is to retrain her to sleep on her own.

We tried it last night. It was TORTURE to lay there for 30 minutes and then an hour but she fell asleep and I only had to pat her twice. Got a few hours of uninterrupted sleep and actually had to wake her up this morning.

I really hope this works again tonight. Cross your fingers.