Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Oddly impacted

One of the things I love about working where I do is the sense of purpose I feel. It was a big selling point for me when I interviewed. I went from collecting money for major health plans and lining already overflowing pockets, to playing a part in the healthcare of children. No, I don't do direct patient care, but the work I do supports those that do. That is rewarding on many levels.

Since I started working at the hospital for kids I have made an effort to actually see those we treat whenever I could. Being in IT has me located in another building so I have to go to them. It always renews my sense of purpose even in the most saddest of instances.

Being pregnant hasn't changed that, but it has added a layer of sensitivity and apprehension about being too close to the actual patients. Not because I fear their illness, but because I fear the reality that babies get sick and many times they die. Sure this is a reality I have always known yet now, the realness hits closer to home.

This is why I am having a hard time going to visit SP's cousin, his wife and their little girl who is having chemo to treat leukemia. I want to. There's no reason not to. It just scares me too much to get past right now. Please pray for them.

Today I feel: thankful I haven't puked and mentally and physically drained.

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