The week of naps

There are all these layers of feelings that go along with being a "working mom". For me, I always thought I would be a stay at home mom so the decision to go back to work was tough for me. Once I got over the feelings of guilt for even thinking I might actually enjoy working and need a career outside of the home, I had to wrestle with the issue of childcare.

That's difficult...giving up control of the primary care of your child to strangers. No one can ever do it as good as you do and there are so many risks associated with group care. At this point in Miss C's life I had started to adjust to her new day care. I was working on accepting all the positive things the day care had to offer while not focusing on my anxiety over her not being cared for a) by me and/or b) in our home.

Overall, I like the activities they support at the day care and all of the things Miss C learns and does while there. She paints and draws, reads and sings, plays A LOT, learns sign language, etc. She also interacts with so many different people from the care givers to the kids in her class and other classes.

Then yesterday, for the second time, I arrived to pick her up and found her primary caregiver asleep. ASLEEP. There stood my baby next to this sleeping person who is supposed to keep her safe and out of harms way. Thankfully, there were two other caregivers in the room so she was not entirely unsupervised. But, the class was full. Every kid was there. And she was ASLEEP.

I have to tell you I am a wreck. I spoke with the facility manager immediately. Then today I was distraught thinking about her being safe...would her caregiver treat her differently when she was reprimanded for sleeping on the job? Would she fall asleep again? Was she ok?

The thing is, I like her caregiver. Miss C likes her. But it is unacceptable to fall asleep when you are caring for a child...for my child. I am trying to trust that this issue will be addressed and will not happen again. I have to tell you though, if it does, either Miss C will be moved to another room or we will be removing her from the facility.