Yesterday Miss C received 4 shots and one oral vaccination. I was up a lot the night before fretting about autism and the potential impact of the vaccinations on my lively and happy baby. Making these types of decisions are difficult and weigh on me heavily.
In the end, we opted for the shots. I am not sure if it's because I think it's the right decision or if I just don't know any other way. So far the only side effects were a low grade fever, decreased appetite and some increased fussiness. Still smiling and laughing so that makes me feel good.
Right now I am pissed off to monumental proportions because my work has now given me a THIRD return to work date that is a week earlier than the last one they gave me. When I called, AGAIN, the woman I spoke with said that the original letter was signed by her but created by someone else and it was wrong. I think I'd verify what I was signing was correct before I put my damn name on it, but that's just me. She said date number 2 was given to me by someone who shouldn't have given it to me. Date number 3 is supposed to be accurate but how do I REALLY know I was speaking to the right person and getting the right info on the letter? They don't seem to have it together enough for me to trust them.
Regardless of all that, the bottom line is I am not ready to leave Miss C. I know moms all over the world do it, but I am not ready. I can't begin to imagine someone else doing all the things I do with her all day. It makes my heart hurt just thinking about it. Of course, SP says I still have a month with her...but that doesn't seem like nearly enough time.
I wish there was a way to have both...my job that I love and my baby that I love more. Doesn't seem feasible so it looks like she will be going to day care and I will be going to work...a week f-ing earlier than expected. I wonder if anyone will notice if I just bring her to work with me?
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