It means nothing?

This weekend Mom came to visit. I was nice to have her here and just hang out. I am a little homesick right now on top of everything else. I try to go home regularly to get that little bit of TLC I need. SP is wonderful, but the reality is he cannot be everything I need nor do I expect him to be. Family and friends are important too. So, having my mom here helped quite a bit.

I went to the doctor today for what was my "final" regular appointment. Same old shit different appointment. Biscuit continues to grow which is good for her, bad for me. Her heartbeat sounds good and strong. Her head is still down. She just doesn't have any desire to come out of this cozy little bungalow that I have created for her.

Funny isn't it how she is perfectly content in there with her happy self and I am out here moaning and groaning. I guess maybe I am not such a crap ass mom so far because I did give my girl the optimal environment to thrive. Now, she is so comfy she doesn't want to leave.

While at the appointment the doctor asked me how I was doing to which I replied that I was a hormonal wreck. As usual, this is "normal" and I wanted to scream.

Then he did the pelvic exam and said, "last week you were at 1 cm, right?" To which I replied, "for the last two weeks. I am hoping this week there's some change." Then, he said much to my surprise, "dilation really doesn't tell us when you are going to go into labor." And I promptly responded mid-exam, "then why are you doing the exam, for fun?"

The nurse was cracking up. I don't think the doctor thought I was as funny. Seriously, if you are feeling the top of my baby's head and giving me this 1 cm, 70% effaced BS shouldn't that MEAN something? Otherwise, why bother? I can tell you without an exam and without a doubt that she is still in there.

Next steps are to either have this baby or go back on Monday for the Non-Stress Test. That will determine where we go from here. Either way, there will be a baby around here soon.

Today I feel: pregnant