Happy New Year

• My uncle died on Christmas Day, so that made the holiday a sad affair. Death doesn't really stop for holidays.
• My grandma seems to be in and out of awareness which is really sad. I think one of the most difficult things is that we have all come to expect that she will be around forever. It is a rare gift to have a grandparent around when their grandchildren are adults. Most people are not this blessed.
• I have spent the last 4 days trying to recover from the hectic month of December. I'd like to think I am a tough chick but it would have been a lot for someone NOT pregnant, add pregnancy and insufficient sleep and this month was just a waste for me.
• Right now I am having mixed feelings about being pregnant. I know I will greatly miss the movement of Biscuit and knowing that right now she is all mine. But, I will not miss the swelling, the inability to do things I would normally do, the pregnancy clothes, the snoring or inability to sleep, the weird shit people say to me, etc.
• I am not really worried about being a mom. SP and I have our own set of things that have prepared us for that. Sure, we'll screw up but we aren't starting completely from scratch.
• Right now, I am worried about delivering Biscuit. I blame this totally on all those women who have scared the shit out of me with their horrific labor stories. Do they NOT remember how anxious THEY were when they had their first baby?
• So, in typical Me fashion, I am trying to prepare both mentally and physically. I am reading a lot and trying not to listen when someone decides to tell me how they were in labor for a month and the pain was indescribable.
• Biscuit will come regardless. I am just having a hard time believing that a body that was designed to conceive and carry children drops that ball at the point of delivery. I must trust my body and not let my mind get in the way.
• I hope everyone has a wonderfully healthy new year!