31 Weeks

It seems the hormones are raging at 31 weeks. It's likely a combination of hormones and anxiety over the pending birth of baby Biscuit. Or a combination of hormones, anxiety and the lack of good sleep.

I have always needed sleep. I'm not like my husband who can just roll on 4 hours of sleep like it's no big deal. I am typically an 8 hour sleep kind girl or something close. It's just one of those things you learn after 33 years...good sleep makes me productive and happy.

Lately, I have not received good sleep. There are multiple factors at play. Those long work hours which thankfully are over screwed up my routine. My sinuses are doing their own thing and I am now waking myself up because I am snoring. Rolling over or even finding a comfortable sleeping position is pretty much a thing of the past.

So, yesterday I had a meltdown. Things I can handle with a good night of sleep become majorly overwhelming and difficult to take. My feet hurt. My back hurts. My pelvis hurts in the front and my hips hurt in the back. My baby has decided to burrow into my right side and stick one of her body parts in my ribs or do some crazy contortion that makes it feel like her foot is in my back. I don't like that simple tasks like typing my shoes or getting out of the car are a chore. And what I don't like even more is my husband's freedom from all of this.

Yesterday as I had my meltdown he asked if I was jealous because he was not pregnant. Damn right I am jealous. I am majorly jealous. It's not that I don't look forward to Biscuit's arrival or that I don't feel extremely blessed that things have gone well for me where she is concerned, because I do and I am. But I want to kick him in the shins for his ability to continue living his life while mine is completely and utterly turned upside down.

It seems that a good cry is cleansing and sleeping on the couch equates to better sleep than any other place I have tried thus far. And today, all that is not as big of a deal. Clarity comes with rest.